My Dad's last day

   My post about " the pony years" made me think about all the sacrifices of time and money my parents happily made to allow me to ride,which I am very thankful for!
  My mom is an invaluable help to this day and is actually coming for a visit, but my Dad passed a little more than twenty years ago.I want to take this opportunity to share the story of his last day and mention his funeral, because they were very bitter sweet and unlike no other  I have ever known. If you have suffered a loss of someone close to you I hope this helps you find a way to deal with it in a positive way.For the parents who read this I hope it reminds you how important your approval and support is to your kids.
  I was competing a Holsteiner named Hidden Talent or "Prince". I bought through Scott Hassler the summer I worked for  him and his mother Jill at Hidden Acres, two year prior to the creation of Hilltop.I schooled Jumpers and thaught jumping lessons along with general barn duties, which is a story for another post.  Prince and I were competing in a training level horse trail for the first time, at Waters Gift in Maryland, and mom and dad were late. This was not normal they were usually early for everything. Dad said they had a romantic breakfast in bed, which was also not a typical event, but everybody was in a good mood. I had entered the open training thinking, because I was an instructor that was where I belonged, again it was my first horse trial as I grew up in the hunter/jumper world. Eventers will know why this is funny.
  I got through my Dressage test ok, no major mistakes, but nothing to write about. Then on cross country I went very slow, but clear. The course was very hilly and I had not schooled him over some of the questions we were asked, so I thought better to have time faults than a stop. Needless to say we were way down in the standings, but my parents were so excited that I found my way around without a stop, I couldn't be upset. The stadium course was challenging and had a triple that I new would cause some riders problems. I told my father how I was going to approach this question, and he was intrigued. He was filming everything that day. I pull it out very once in a while when I just want to hear his voice. He got so excited when I went clear and went on and on about how I took the triple!
  We were walking back to the horse trailer and he put his arm around my shoulder as we walked up a steep hill and told me he was proud of me and he believed I had  talent as a rider and I should continue to pirsue it. This memory is very vivid and while I am sure my dad had said he was proud of me many times, it is the one I remember most It meant more to me than any compliment I have ever gotten.
  When we got home we were all very tired and after a big meal we sat down to watch a movie together. Right before the end of the movie dad said "watch this is ....going to happen" sure enough it did! He was so happy with himself for figuring it out he began to laugh. Then the laughter change to a horrible weasing noise and he grabbed his chest.
   He had a heart attack four years earlier and had a congenital heart condition so the doctors thought he would only live two years. I told mom to call 911 and proceeded to give him CPR. While I was trying to to keep him breathing I could see the life quickly flow from him. The paramedics arrived quickly and continued to try and save him, but once they got to the hospital they were able to determine his heart wall had given in completely. It was slightly after midnight so his death certificate reads September 9,1990, but it was September 8, 1990 at 1100 PM for me. If you have to go, and we all eventually do it was about as good as it gets, laughing at the end of a happy day spent with family. I am only sorry my brother and sister weren't there. I feel it was harder for them because they were not.
  I gave his eulogy at his funeral and as I looked out at the small church filled well beyond its capacity people were standing and even out the open door. I realized how much James Brown Montfort JR. had meant to so many people! The service was at his mothers family church in ST Mary's county Maryland Two and a half hours from our home, yet everyone came, even some people I did not know.While I told of some of my dad's great points and my love for him. I think a sentiment a student of mine shared with me is what most people liked and set the tone for the ensuing wake turned celebration of his life!It is a simple concept, if when you loose someone close to you, you do your best to incorporate all the things you loved about them into yourself they live on through you!
  The insuring celebration of his life was everyone sharing all the wonderful memories they had. Tales of him making them laugh or helping them in an unexpected way or at an unexpected moment. I knew it was something different when the funeral director and hearse driver said that he must have been amazing because they had never seen so many happy people celebrating someones life in this way before.If you knew him, you know how special he was.
  I hope this has helped you in some small way.
                                                             Sincerely,
                                                                             John
Ps I realized I would be wrong if I left out three details;
 * One Thank you Oliver North and your daughter for loaning me your helmet that day for part of the competition! as I had a problem with mine.
** Dad gave my brother and sister Christmas presents for their sons early!
*** I finished fifth a pink ribbon, I did have to circle once at the water cross country.Dad's final comment on the video"this is it the end of the day". Did he know?